Lost
by rockrose
Summary: Trory. After Tristan goes to military school, his Mary sends him a letter.
1. I Miss You

Disc: I don't own 'em. Just borrowing.

Lost, Chapter 1

Rory buried her head into her pillow. Life was hell. He wasn't there anymore. They acted like enemies. Bantering, bitching, yelling. But then there was also talking and even that one time, kissing. Nothing was the same without him.

Tristan left for military school three weeks ago. Three long, miserable weeks had went by without him annoying her or calling her his Mary.

It had also been three weeks since she broke up with Dean. The day after Tristan left, she realized what a sham her relationship with Dean was. She didn't love him. She didn't even really like him anymore. She didn't have the feelings inside around him that she had around Tristan. And Tristan had only kissed her once. She knew there was no point in dragging things out. So she let him go.

She stood up and grabbed for her uniform. Another day of hell, only today, like the past three weeks, the Spawn of Satan wouldn't be there to torment her. Oh, how she hated that.

-GG-

Tristan shook his head. His life was hell. It had been three weeks since he last saw her. He hadn't even kissed her goodbye because Bag Boy had been there. He figured he caused enough problems for her, he wouldn't cause another one.

He ran out onto the field for PT. He needed to get her out of his mind. She didn't care for him. She hated him. They had no contact. He just needed to let her go. He just wished he knew how.

-GG-

Paris watched Rory. She had been doing that a lot lately. She was nicer to the girl, less demanding. Something was wrong with Rory. She wasn't her normal self. Looking back at the past year, Paris felt guilty. She had never exactly gone out of her way to be nice. Hell, she had went out of her way to be down right evil to Rory. But maybe she could make up for it now.

She walked up to Rory's locker. "Here." She said, handing her a slip of plain white paper.

"What's this?" Rory asked, looking at the paper in confusion.

"Tristan's address."

Rory's eyes shot up to meet Paris'. "Come again?"

Paris took a deep breath. "Look, you have been sulking around these halls like a lost puppy since he left. Just write him."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you care." And with those words, Paris walked away, towards her next class.

-GG-

Rory lay on her bed several hours later. _'Because you care.' _The words were haunting her. His memory was haunting her.

She picked up her pen, and began to write. She wasn't sure what she wanted to write. She just knew she had to write something; anything. It didn't matter. She just had to have some link to Tristan.

-GG-

Lorelai walked into the house after a particularly annoying day at the inn. Michele had gone out of his way to cause problems for the guests.

"Fruit of my loins, I'm home!" She yelled, checking for Rory.

"In my room" Came the muffled response. Lorelai shook her head. She was starting to get seriously worried about her daughter. Rory's appetite had become almost non existent. All she did was mope. Mope and daydream. She had a feeling it had to do with a certain blonde haired future leader of hell, but Rory was not talking.

She walked into her daughter's room, determined to get her to talk, or eat.

"Hey honey. What do you say we go to Luke's?"

"Hey mom." Rory said, never stopping the pen.

Lorelai looked at the bed. "Honey, what's with your sudden determination to waste trees?"

Rory looked up. "Huh?"

"Well, you have about fifty pieces of paper all crumpled up around you." Lorelai pointed to the pile of crumpled papers, and the now nearly empty notebook.

"Oh, yeah, they weren't good." Rory shrugged, not offering anymore information.

"What wasn't good?"

"They weren't good. This has to be perfect. I don't want to sound like an idiot."

At this point, Lorelai sat down beside Rory, placed her hand on Rory's arm, and made her daughter look at her. "Look, I know Chilton's a tough school, but you're not an idiot. You-"

"Mom! This has nothing to do with Chilton!" Rory said, shaking her head, frustrated.

"Then what is going on? You have been sulking around the house for weeks. You're hardly eating, and now you're calling yourself an idiot. What gives?"

Rory looked down, biting her lip. It was time she talked to her mom. So for the next hour, they sat on her bed, with Rory explaining all the perplexing feelings she felt for Tristan. And then her mom gave her an envelope and a stamp, and told her to send the Evil One the letter.

-GG-

"DuGrey, you have mail!" Shawn Jarvis yelled to his roommate. They never called each other their first names.It was just the way things were.

"Huh, did the parents send me a post card from Europe?" Tristan wondered out loud, grabbing the item out of his buddy's hands.

It was a plain white envelope, nothing remarkable, nothing heart stopping. No, the envelope was just fine. It was the return address that took his breath away. Stars Hollow. Rory.

At that point, his brain wasn't working very well. He was trying to comprehend the fact that his Mary wrote to him. She cared enough to actually write to him.

Sitting down on his bunk, he carefully opened the envelope. Taking the letter out, he began to read.

_Dear Tristan,_

_I'm really not sure what to write. I could ask how you're doing, but I doubt that military school is very much fun. I really don't know what to say to you. There's so much, yet so little…_

_There have been a lot of changes since you left. Paris has actually been almost human! I don't know what's happened to her, she's just been nice to me lately. It's starting to freak me out. I broke up with Dean. I just couldn't be with him anymore. It wasn't fair for me to stay with him, when I don't feel the way he does. School just doesn't seem the same anymore, either._

_I expect you to walk up to my locker everyday, and annoy me. I miss you. I can't get you out of my mind. I miss hearing you call me Mary, while smirking at me. I miss arguing with you. _

_I know this is probably really unexpected. As I already said, I didn't know what to write. So I chose to go with the truth. If you don't want to write back, I understand. This was just something I needed to let you know. _

_Yours,_

_Mary_

Tristan let out a deep breath, reading and rereading the letter. He wanted to be sure he actually saw those words, and they weren't figments of his imagination.

Slowly, he got up and walked over to his desk, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. He began to write to the one person he cared about. The one person who cared to write to him.

* * *

**AN:** This isn't a new fic that I just started. I've been writing it for a while, and had it at my blog, but I decided to only keep my stories up here now (lots less work) so I'm posting the few chapters I actually have done here now. I don't update this fic very often though, so that's why I never posted it here before. I actually got some ideas for it the other day though, so who knows, maybe I'll update more than once a month on it. Anyways, if you have any ideas/ suggestions, let me know. 


	2. Honesty

**AN:** Bet ya thought I wasn't going to continue this, huh? Well, I am. I always intended to, but it just kept getting pushed back. I have a 2nd AN at the end of this chapter, so read that, too.

* * *

Chapter 2 

Tristan closed his eyes. If his calculations were right, she should have gotten his letter today. It had been five days since he sent it off. He wondered if she would be surprised that he actually wrote back. _Could she have changed her mind?_ He wondered, hoping that wasn't the case.

He hated his life. Military school sucked. There were no two ways about that. His platoon leader,Tom Dolton, was an ass who had a personal agenda against Tristan for some unknown reason. He gave Tristan the toughest duties, making him work the longest and the hardest.

His mother and father still hadn't called. They still hadn't written. Paris didn't even write to him yet. But Rory did. He wasn't sure how she got his address, but he didn't care. All he cared was that she wrote to him. She was his lifeline. He just hoped to God he wouldn't lose her. He needed to at least know she didn't hate him. He needed to know if he had a chance…

He wasn't a fool. He knew his father wasn't letting him move home until he graduated. That would be ok. He would make it. He now had a goal. He was going to take this experience, and turn into a man. He was going to make something of himself. He was going to become a man that Rory would find deserving of a shot with her. But for now, just knowing she didn't hate him would be ok.

In the letter he sent her, he wrote things he never thought he would admit. She could reject him easily. He figured as long as he was honest, he had nothing to lose. It wasn't like he ever had Rory Gilmore to begin with. If she didn't want to write him anymore it would hurt like hell, but he would deal.

"DuGrey, are you thinking about your girl again?" Jarvis asked him, turning over in his bed.

"She's not my girl." Tristan answered in a tone he hoped sounded nonchalant.

Shawn Jarvis snorted. "Technicalities man, technicalities." He wasn't blind. He had seen the dazed expression on his buddies face as he read and reread that letter. He knew his roommate was in love with a girl back home.

-GG-

Rory walked home from the bus stop, not stopping until she reached the mailbox. She began flipping through the envelopes as she walked inside. She didn't care about the stack of bills for her mother or the postcard from her father.

There **IT** was. '_Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod_,' she thought, clutching it for dear life.

She hurried to her room, where she knew she wouldn't be interrupted. She sat on her bed, and carefully opened the envelope, not wanting to tear it.

Taking a deep breathe, she pulled the letter out and began to read.

_My dearest Mary,_

_I can't begin to tell you how happy I am you decided to write me. You're right, military school isn't any fun. But I'll be ok. I'll make it through this. Please don't worry about me._

_I miss you, too. I think about you a lot. I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you at Chilton. I don't really have an excuse, other than I loved you. You see, it was third grade tactics of mine. I didn't know how to tell you, and I knew you didn't feel the same way, so I acted like an idiot. I'm sorry for that. _

_I hope I'm not scaring you off with this letter. I just needed to let you know how I felt; how I still feel. If you chose not to write back, I will understand. But I hope you do. _

_With love,_

_Tristan_

Rory sat the letter down on her bed and just stared at it. He loved her. Tristan DuGrey, the guy she couldn't stop thinking about, the guy who haunted her thoughts, loved her. The guy who was over a thousand miles away in military school. The guy who made her life at Chilton a living hell.

This was going to take some serious coffee.

-GG-

Lorelai looked at her daughter, who was sitting on the couch, lost in her own little world. She was drinking her fifth cup of coffee that she had seen so far.

"Hon, are you ok?" She questioned. Something was definitely off here.

Rory looked over at her mother; her best friend. Tears started to pour out of her eyes.

Lorelai's eyes widened in confusion. She scooped her daughter into her arms and simply held her.

"I'm so lost mommy." Was all Rory said, continuing to cry in her mother's arms before falling into a deep sleep.

-GG-

The next morning, Lorelai shut off Rory's alarm before it went off. She called the school and let them know Rory was sick and wouldn't be in today. She then called Michele and told him she wouldn't be in. When a heart was broken, only wallowing and shopping could help. And her daughter's heart was obviously broken, so she grabbed the credit card and got ready for a day of putting herself in debt.

-GG-

The next morning Rory went to school, her eyes still burning. She had cried so much the day before that her eyes hurt long after she stopped. She went to her locker, fighting with it to get her History book.

"You look like hell." Came a dry comment from behind her.

Rory spun around, sighing. "Thanks Paris. You're cheery as always."

"So what happened?"

"With…?"

Paris rolled her eyes, sighing. "With the cookie monster, who do you think? With Tristan! You did write to him, right?"

Rory looked down at her book. "Yeah, I did."

"Did he write you back?"

Rory nodded.

Paris studied her friend, knowing there was more to it than just that, but decided not to pry. "Is he okay? I just want to know that he's okay."

Rory looked up, meeting the blonde girl's eyes. "He's okay."

"Good. See you at the newspaper meeting today." Paris said, before hurrying off.

Rory hit her head on the cool metal of her locker. She couldn't get away from his memories. She couldn't stop thinking about him. It was killing her inside to go to school and fight with her locker, not getting smart ass comments from him. She missed him; things just seemed so empty without Tristan.

* * *

**AN2:**I know some of you probably won't like how I had Tristan write Rory & tell her he loves her, but it's allin my plan. At this point, he feels he has nothing left to lose by telling the truth.This will be a long fic. Lots & lots of letters, slow moving Trory... etc. Thanks for all the reviews you guys, and I promise not to make you wait 3 more months for the next chapter. Thanks for reading! 


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